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10/22/2009 =]Somebody makes my heart flutter... =]P.
But... I don't want to lose anyone.
Programming ^^, and it's going kinda well =D.
Yesterday was an awesome day too.. Did Brandon and Billy's hair ^^. DisappointedI'm disappointed with the way I handled things...
But I didn't know any other way without getting hurt...
Yes I'm cold chicken... a bitch if you'd like... especially with how I did it.
FUCK, but I don't want to get hurt again... twice this freaken year... and it's finals coming up.
What was I suppose to do?
Wait around.. till he eventually contacted me again?
Or was I suppose to contact him?
Stupid conventions...
Oh well... there isn't much I can do, that I actually want to do...
I don't know him enough to risk it... I wanted to know him... but that didn't happen.
What he told me seem sincere... but none of his words matched his actions...
Did I start that...?
Goddamnnit ... this is becoming a habit...
The taking of innocence? or would is it just the initiation of naughtiness?
I don't think I can even count it on my fingers anymore.
Is it bitchy to prioritise? Does that make you selfish?
Shut down?
I don't want to ... it's started to get more open these last few years...
But maybe I need to take a step back?
I hope you guys all learnt a lesson.
Contemplating,
Helen ♥ 10/11/2009 StrangeWhat is this... so strange.. you know what... I don't think I've ever really dated anyone...
it's always been like.. jump right into a relationship...
maybe it's time to learn from that hmm?
Gahh I get annoyed at myself sometimes... I don't know what I want.
I like to talk about inappropriate things...
and I know about the affects and consequences...
yet I still do it.. and then I get all worried about it afterwards.
XD btw... my reputation has been tarnished.. I guess it woud've happen at some point or other.
Though I would've thought that it would've been the result of something that really happened..
it wasn't.
I've just noticed... I've come to a conclusion regarding something at several points...
but something keeps happening to make me step back from it.
I was going to admit to it myself a month or so ago... then an unexpected event occured, and made me question myself.
Finally I had admitted it to myself last week, and was going to blog about it... lol and another unexpected event occured.
What does it mean?
Does it just mean the time's not right? I shouldn't be thinking that way? or I'm not ready yet?
No communication has occured... What are my expectations suppose to be?
Openly,
Helen ♥ 9/29/2009 CleaningWhat did little 'ole Helen do today,
She blogged, met up with Preet and listened to records whilst cleaning her room, which is now impeccable, ok not really that clean XP,
but still pretty clean since I vacuumed, cleaned the mirrors and put stuff away ^^.
And so as I was wiping away at my mirrors with chinese newpapers,
since the ink comes off more easily, thus making it a better mirror cleaner,
I thought to myself, it was just like looking into a mirror,
no I'm not an idiot, I'm referring to something else, but yes I was literally looking into a mirror too.
Just the manner of things, you've already guessed an answer,
so asking me achieves nothing, except the confirmation that you're right,
it's not entirely curiousity.
Oh how I use to love doing that lol, and now it's being done to me,
except in my case I always got my answer, and you still haven't gotten mine.
Am I gloating?... yep =D Lol I was hating it before I realised it was exactly what I use to do,
so now all I feel is challenged.
Again so close to giving you an answer,
but you didn't push hard enough, and I'm still confused about other things unrelated.
So am I lying to myself now?
Avoiding it?
Or just hiding?
Understanding,
Helen 9/20/2009 Out of the mouldAnd cue... break ^^.
Yes ladies and gentleman, I have now reached the awaited break and time of great activites.
I'm going to be a busy little bee this week trying to get everything done on time... which reminds me I have to contact Preet.
GAHHH I really hope I can finish my part on time.
Had an AWESOME DAY today... and saw a whole bunch of dearly missed people.
- ReThreads with Rachel and Ed,
- Holly's saxaphone performance and saw Raymond,
- Dinner, Swan Lake and dessert with Amy and Melda
- and last but not least Net Cafe with Ben =].
So it was an awesomely full and tiring day lol, plus I just put my clothes away.. so yay for me XD.
Friday was filled with jobs, which I completed at a pathetic pace, and Thursday was pretty awesome too =], the Pizza Hut crew eating out again.
I have noticed something... everytime I try to be good and attempt to pull myself out of that world, it only lasts for a while.
It's like trouble (good trouble ;)P) comes to find me, just to prove to me it's part of me.
HAHA maybe it is, seeing as I can't escape it.
It's the domino effect. I've had at least four visits from the past and then several new little additions, plus a whole lot of confusion.
So what to do?... what to do?
It would be oh so very easy to fall back into old habits with a new twist, but would it be more of a challenge to resist the temptation?
Hmmmm... we do only live once... and it's not very often this happens, AND I have been good for a long while now.
But there's usually less, and I don't know if would be able to keep up... is that where-in lays the challenge?
lol I really need someone I can confide in lol... an old friend or new?
Confusingly,
Helen ♥ 9/8/2009 When I should be editing...So here I am... sitting in front of my computer again... just like every other night...
It sounds sad, I know, but I wasn't here the whole day so XP.
I'm suppose to be editing our group assignment, but it's too early for me to properly concentrate and it's hard to edit other people's work sometimes cause you don't know what their train of thought was...
In order for me to think probably later, I am occupying myself with totally non-related things, things like blogging.
I know I've been neglecting my blog... and I was on such a good run too ><".
I'm kinda getting stressed now, and how often do I say that?, but it might just be anxiety?
I want one thing over and done with as soon as possible so I can get the next thing over and done with etc,
but it seems like everything's dragging on and coming too fast at the same time.
I've got assignments, driving, the picnic and general studying all on my plate right now, thankfully family outings will be at a stand still for now,
it's not that I don't enjoy them, but right now I really want all the time I can get.
Another thing I realised today, I really enjoy and miss the idea of things, but not the actual thing,
for example, I miss the feelings but I also don't want it, I think an imaginary world would be quite suitable for me right now.
And I must say no more often... plus getting annoyed with expectations...
back to editing,
Helen ♥
edit: actually... no I'm just going to get my stuff ready for tomorrow and do it tomorrow, cause I know at this rate I might finish it but that'll mean I'll end up sleeping at 6am or something, so goodnight all =]. 8/26/2009 "It hurts..."I couldn't sleep last night... too many thoughts in my head.
So I tried to blog on my dad's laptop.... and then the internet was down lol
So I rolled around thinking and eventually fell asleep.
THEN I woke up at 9... why 9?
I can't even wake up at 9 when I have to get to uni by 12pm.
SO whyyyy on the day that I have a podcast,
do I wake up at 9 when I could've had a nice restful 8 or so hours of sleep; I had 6 XP.
Anywhos.. to the original purpose of this blog,
Yes I was in bed thinking last night.. actually this thought as been on my mind the last two of so days, but I got distracted every time I tried to blog about it.
The sentence "It hurts to be with you" or "It hurts too much" or "It hurts..." etc, is possibly one of the worse break up like sentences,
I mean, I've used it before and I've had it used on me... and it really is a horrible horrible sentence.
I mean it's like saying, I can't stand you at all and it brings me physical, emotional, mental etc pain to be with you...
How horrible is that... seriously, it's degrading and yeh the first time (and only time I'll ever use it) I just knew it cut the person deeply,
why cause it cut me up so much worse, and the damage was unmendable... It was like a cloud over your head.
It's really one of those sentences that doesn't seem like much before you say it, only truthful,
BUT once you say it, you realise that it's unfair and how hurtful those words really are.
I remember how I said it and how much it hurt and I thought to myself... but it hurts so much more not being with you,
but I didn't say that, you really can't come back from saying it,
and I don't believe that anything you say after it will rectify why you even used those words in the first place.
I say this being on both sides of that sentence.
Though I have to admit, you know it's over if that sentence ever comes up...
I think I should've realised that, but I was naive.
You probably can come back from it, if you're strong enough, but there'll always be a period in your lives where you bought each other pain,
enough pain to admit it to your partner or each other.
I'm not saying if you do feel the pain you shouldn't say it, to save each other's feelings,
that being said, it's really one of those sentences that should be used with caution.
My belief is that if the pain truly overrides everything good about your relationship, everything, then it should be said,
DON'T say it when you're confused, you'll end up hurting everyone including yourself and you won't even be sure if you really mean it.
DON'T say it if you don't mean it.
DON'T say it without thinking of the consequences
DON'T say it as an easy way out, it's not, trust me.
DON'T say it if you want to save your relationship, there's so many other ways to convey your pain without having to actually say those words, it's kinda like a deal breaker. You could use, "It really annoys me how you..." or "I feel lonely when you..." or "I don't feel loved", even the I don't feel loved is so much better to use, because you can fix it.
DON'T say it to make them fight for your love, your relationship, you; It won't work, and will most likely have the opposite effect.
"It hurts..." knocks the wind out of you, it drains you and you don't know what to do.
All you want is rid them of their pain, but the only solution you can think of is taking yourself out of their life,
but sometimes they don't actually want that, they just want you to fight for them.
All in all DON'T say it if you don't feel complete pain from being with someone, there are so many other ways you can break up without using irreversible words.
Helen ♥
P.S. This blog might slightly be biased, since I've only been in one situation where I've said it, and in another where it's been said to me. 8/21/2009 RememberancesLooking back at that dear old poem of mine just below,
I can feel what I was feeling then, seeing myself tearing the fantasy from the reality.
It almost makes me sad, almost,
but really it makes me feel stronger, because I was able to pass through it like any other time,
and I know if something similar happens again I'll have all these experiences to help me through.
I had tried a different strategy this time, and it worked in different ways, I can't really say if it was better or worse than last time,
just different and unique in it's own way.
I've found, it's human to compare, but there's comparing and recognising the differences and then there's ranking. (that's what I think anyway)
There's a lot I try not to do, and sometimes it exhausts me; I try and I really do try to make things fair, but you're right, a lot of the times I do slip up.
Life isn't fair, but you can't help trying to make it.
I've cut him from my life,
because he brought me down,
because he wouldn't let go of the past,
because he blamed me for everything that went wrong,
because he couldn't be trusted,
but most of all, because he royally pissed me off and I had had enough of stroking his ego with apologies and whatnot;
an ego, which a certain someone once pointed out that I planted, watered and nutured XP~~.
Maybe I am to blame at times, maybe I am the bitch, but you were the childish one and it took me so much effort not to lash out and rip your guts out,
least I end up as sad as you.
And it annoys me that there's a segment in my blog for you; but this only serves as a reminder to myself.
Some hopes are better to be forgotten; once you've seen all of someone;
you should know that there's nothing else to hope for than what's right in front of you.
Such comings and goings of people recently.
The goings I'm not too worried about since it means it's one less thing on my mind, and usually for some odd reason or other they come back for the better or worse, so I shall deal with it then (lol I sound like Scarlett from Gone with the wind; LOVE that book and the film ♥).
The comings, I shall have to see what will unfold, sometimes it's a quick little visit, other times a little more thought is required.
Had one of the most disorientating days today, it was strange, and I'm still undecided whether I liked it or not; I have to say though, I really liked getting the lollies and the eating of ice cream =].
Helen ♥
P.S. Avatar screening tomorrow ^^, can't wait, plus spending time with mum. ...And there goes the first semester of uni and so many other things along with it...
No I'm not doing fine at all... and it hurts, it really does...
But no one reads this, so I don't have to worry about worrying anyone.
I'll find a way to deal, I always have... it just feels so much harder this time
(not like it's suppose to get easy anyway).
I have this horrible lurching feeling in my stomach like someone's grabbing onto me and pulling,
and my arms have this weird tingly feeling.
Everyone's being so supportive and I'm so appreciative of that,
it helps so much to know that I have all of you guys to lean back on when I fall.
Thank you all for putting up with me so far, and hopefully till I can find the strength to move on,
it doesn't matter how insignificant you feel your help may be, I can see it and it really englightens me,
to find the courage to move on, learn from my mistakes and embrace life and all it's challenges.
It'll be hard, and if I seem cold and distant, it's only me being me.
But I'll stay positive and read my mini poster...
so I'll stay positive,
drink to half full glasses,
take a step back and look at the clouds when life overwhelms me,
and listen to the rain, or dance in it... it might just wash my sorrows away.
Goodnight all,
I hope tomorrow will be a better day.
Helen 8/26/2008 it has begunI clean my room, yet again... lol yay for me
OKKKK.. well it wasn't really cleaning it, but more of a shift of objects, so it makes my room look spacier.
At least some parts of it, some of it in a cluttered kinda way lol
BUT my main reason for having this wonderful clean up, is cause I wanna have space to put a turntable!!
HAHA well that's IF my dad can find it and get it out.... AHHH I wanna use it !!!
and I found saw this Michael Jackson Vinyl Record, $35
OO and some Elvis Presley Records, around that price as well...
and the covers and pretty
lol and I managed to convince my Dad to pay for the Michael Jackson one XD...
anyone wanna buy more for me? =]
OO we went to Imax today for a Free Screening of Wild Ocean 3D
sigh I didn't get the Greater Union tickets... damn conspiracy lol
aww I'm hungry now.. should I eat or sleep?
I think I'll sleep...
I have morning class tomorrow ><
I was going to blog more, but I'm lazy and we'll blame the time for it -.^
Night Night
p.s. Oh yeh I remembered now why I wanted to blog... I really want to stop now
Just stop, no more, it's been long enough and I've really just become annoyed with it.
So this is me saying... I need a new hobby lol
and I've just come to the realisation that you can't predict..
let me rephrase that.. cause that line just makes me sound ignorant and naive.
I have been spending, no wait, wasting too much time on what will not come till it comes
XD I make no sense, trying to be subtle and remind the 'future' Helen of what 'Past' Helen (which is really 'Present' Helen) what I was talking trying to talk about.. I'm taking extra precaution, in case I get really thick lol..
any how, 'tis all good
and my p.s. shall stop as of .... NOW 8/18/2008 CaCHIHmm I feel like taking some photos, I've been neglecting my camera for a while
and I can't wait for the HANA YORI DANGO: FINALE MOVIE.. i need to laugh at some sexy times XD!!!
I can see it now
BaiZ 7/14/2008 I WANT CEREALanother day wasted.. all i managed to write for anything.. it was english extension today was
"charged and melodramatic" and i really can't be bothered to find the Medea book and find some quotes
again i'll just blame my episode from last night/early this morning.. didn't end up sleeping till 7am...
i even comtemplated to just staying up the rest of the day.. but alas i fell asleep
fast forward almost 12 hours..
i woke at like 5.. ignored some people.. i should probably reply to them.. but sorry
GOD... i have to wake up at 7.30am tomorrow.. sigh =.="
anyways point of this blog.. i can't believe that i'm letting myself get distracted so easily
i don't know what i'm doing.. and the stupid episode last night shouldn't have effected me that badly.
it was really just a build up of who knows what.. yeh i do..
reading some FuN FaCTS.. lol i have to get around to publishing them on this.. cuz that category is kinda empty
which accumulated to stupid things.. and it all came bundled up with some organising i had to do..
not the dark knight day.. i think i'll use events from now on for any organising.. now to teach people to reply lol
so yeh... it was just a build up of events and my stupidity for something i wish not to mention..
which could still effect me so many months later.. let's hope i had a fun little breakdown.. they come like clockwork now
once every two years around the middle of the year i guess... and i can stay focused and get back to
BEATING THE CRAP OUT OF THE HSC
okies i'm not that confident yet.. but maybe if i keep telling myself that i am.. i can trick myself long enough to actually do it
stupid english.. why does it have to count..
and PIP.. i can't think of any appropriate questions
maths just need to remember the formulas and practise practise practise
Society and Culture use the concepts that's what they're there for
Legel studies.. research new legislations and i'll be fine, and year 11 stuff too
IT.. just excel at excel and i'm good hehe
and last of all.. CHEM.. damn you..
lol i just distracted myself with batman begins.. so bad
aww so cute the little kids
but yeh.. i have so much crap that i need to do.. and i'm really craving cereal in milk..
HELEN YOU HAVE A WEEK TO MAKE UP FOR EVERYTHING .. LET'S HOPE YOU DON'T GET DISTRACTED..
rephrase that.. HELEN DON'T GET DISTRACTED.. OR YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO ACHIEVE EVERYTHING YOU WANT TO THIS YEAR
ALSO SAVE UP MONEY.. YOU'LL NEED IT.. 7 days for 7 subjects.. let's plan
Monday - English Advance
Tuesday - Society and Culture
Wednesday - IT
Thursday - Legal Studies
Friday - Maths
Saturday - English Extension/Maths
Sunday - Chemistry
Monday - Assessment Tasks
and a bit of PIP everyday...
la la la...
let's get serious 5/14/2008 quickielol it's been a while
still have to blog about
and probably by my next blog
yehs that's quite a few blogs.. i've been slacking off lol.. oh wells this is what ia get anyways point of this... i've realised i've become soft consciences are only useful if you want to care let's see if i fall.. or will it be a leap into temptation night night everyone Helen •Ø_ו 4/15/2008 in the dead of the nighti'm anxiously awaiting the walk
not just for the excitment.. i just need to get out... and face one of the two last places....
i dunnos... i want to connect to people again.. i need to speak
but i dont' want to burdern people with it either...
i need face-to-face interaction with people.. and i need to be moving whilst doing it..
i don't think i can sit still and talk about it....
i didn't do it last time... and it took so much longer...
i'm not looking for a quick fix... but i need to talk to people i trust
i need a hug lol
ahh crap this is suppose to be one of my breakdown years too...
where everything from the previous two years build up and come out.. damnnit hsc year
so i really gotta get this off my chest
i feel like being engulfed by nature
i want that calm tranquility
to look up through the trees and see the blue sky..
clouds just drifting by
and silence
i need the silence
to be lost into a world that we cannot control
ahh wishful thinking...
but to be in a place that is dangerous and safe at the same time
and to lose control because i want to .. not because it was taken away from me
hmm lol i really gotta find a place like that lol
i remember royal botanical gardens in circular quay.. that was nice but to close to civilisation
somewhere like mt. tomah or the blue mts would be nice...
or even in the jenolan caves... lol but i can't lie down there
even so... so see thousands of years of water trickling create such delicate formations..
it takes you away.. and the cold is nice too
lol where's chi?? she disappeared on me lol
i feel like drawing again
but i can't think of anything..
any suggestions?
lol i remember tonight when i was talking to ranjini i was like
"i like autumn because it's like the last breath of life before winter"
haha sounded so emo... i blame keats...lol
but i think i've kinda always though that
there's something so mysterious about autumn
beauty in death... the dying red, yellow and gold leaves..
so pretty yet they hold a sinister message of the coming winter
the cold harshness
it's like a final gift, a bit misleading too
and then winter comes with it's barren landscapes
the trees stark naked to the cold
little puff of white air escape you
and all you want to do is retreat to the warmth
what would it to die in the cold?
in a slow sleep, the cold numbing you to pain..
would you feel it?
or would you just drift away
and disappear like your little breaths of air?
and then in the coming spring when life sprouts between the fingers of the pressing winter
pushing their way up from it's oppression.
would you find yourself waking on a bed of leaves, flowers or even herbs?
all the things that winter hides for the spring...
you slowly wake and the sun warms you
colour springs from the ground, the trees and even the sky..
clear refreshing rain falls from the skies reviving everything once again
life begins once again.. and frolicks throughout summer
jumping and splashing into lakes, throwing up the clear crystal water,
each droplet reflecting the sun...
a lake of millions of suns... of warmth
and then you hit the transition between summer and autumn
the days when you're on highs and believe your invincible
and then days not cold enough to huddle up.. but enough to make you sit back and watch life pass
and once again you slowly see the cloak of death hovering over all life
and it falls suffocating those beneath it
but if you hold your breath throughout the winter...
to the coming spring
maybe the cloak will be lifted before anything dies
or maybe not..
maybe you'll start feeling tired and lie down to rest
and you'll follow the end of autumn in slow suffocating death
blacking out before you breath your last breath
will it be lost during autumn or in winter while you wait it out?
will you wake once again when spring comes like how you did before?
or will this last autumn breath of life be your final one?
HAHA okies i dunnos what that was...
but i just needed to write
since i couldn't draw that..
that's what came out
a feel a bit better now =]
still wanna lie down somewhere
lol but not follow that slow suffocating death
i don't think i'll hold my breath for the coming spring
and i won't sleep through winter
i move around and stay energetic so i can welcome the coming spring..
instead of waking up with it
okies goodnight
going to sleep night
Love you
and Autumn too
Helen ♥
p.s. CHi came back lol... but she went to sleep 3/16/2008 twistylol yeh that blog didn't turn out like how it was suppose to
there was more i wanted to say..
but everything's still too fresh for it to come out without it seemign like i'm accusing people or critising
i know it comes out like that.. but i'm just being objective
and i don't know how people may take it...
i'm not afraid of how people will perceive me
but it's not only me that involved.. so i think i might just hold off a bit
so i don't get in trouble or suggest to much
cuz there is the truth.. but i don't know what the outcomes would be
and i don't want to hurt others...
or create regret in others
lol hahah i'm not trying to sound all knowing or that i have power over everyone to do that
but it's just a caution
just clearing things up
Helen ponderinglol well i was in bed last night just thinking..
haha i think best in the shower and in bed...
lol i don't know if you needed to know that.. but oh wells you do now hahhahah
i guess it's cuz it's the time where you're most relaxed...
anyways back to my thinking...
i realised that the most significant memeories are of hugs and funny moments
and now it comes for the time to speak in code
i guess i've known 6ish "decent" guys in very different more than friends situations over the last 6 years ...
and a couple that were just jerks.. so i'll group them as one lol
no i didn't go out with all of them
out of that only two were "boyfriends"
but i kinda learnt something from each...
oh yeh i'm only writing this so i can remember what i learnt
and i've given up on keeping a paper diary.. ended up ripping the last one
anyways let's nickname them.. i'm goin to choose animals cuz it's easier
there was the
lion, hyenas, dog, bear, rabbit, beaver and cat
doesn't describe them personally but just some aspects.. and i'm not goin to state which
you can guess who they are i guess
what i learnt and the outcomes:
i'll slowly add more to this when i feel like i've hit something .. yeh i had like a whole realisation list last night.. but i can't remember it all all i know is that if given the opportunity again ... that's just the kind of person i am but yes i just felt like writing this.. okies... well i'm making less and less sense and the chocolate's too nice Helen 2/21/2008 sleepoverhad a sleepover at celina's last night
lol it was fun
hehe slept so late and i was the one telling my mum...
"nah everyone sleeps early..
they'll all sleep before 12am and i'll be left alone talking to myself"
hahah that wasn't the case last nightwe all didn't end up sleeping till about 2ish..
but surprisingly we all woke up kinda early.. but we were late lol in the end
we all had plans to do homework... and that kinda went down the drain..
except for celina.. she finished her jap so yay for her =]...
but of course we have something to blame for not touching our homework...
we were cooking.. it took us two hours lol.. so we ended up eating at 9ish
oh yeh beforehand we were in the library *CouGH* *CouGH* studying ahhah
and after that we went to the HSC meeting and then we went to celina's place...
i wonder if there will always be a pang when you see something similar to what you did...
will you always carry it around with you?
is it part of the learning processing?
part of growing?
with every lesson learnt is there always a reminder of how it was learnt?
does that make us remember it better?
or does it mean that we're forever punished?
hmmm...
Helen 2/19/2008 Keep it togetherThe last year of secondary schooling...
yes it's a bit daunting.. what isn't..
In year 6 goin into high school was daunting...
we lost contact with friends, we became older and we've learnt so much more lol especially in PHP..
What makes the end of high school so daunting?
maybe it's the fact that after this we're on our own...
we'll still have our parents and friends but ultimately we have to makes choices and motivate ourselves all by ourselves
its not to say that we can't do it .. we can.. but sometimes it takes a while to find that extra oomph that'll get us through
We're in our fourth week of school and still have approximately 27 weeks to go... and holidays inbetween of course...
but condense it all together and we have a bit less than four months to go...
till we reach that HSC month.. where we believe that our future is decided
But it's not.. our future is what we make it... so what if we don't get all band 6's or if we get band 1's....
we still have opportunities to do what we want.. university is not the only way up,
there's so many other path ways... but you have to be motivated.. you need to have a drive push you forward to reach that goal...
These next few months are goin to be hectic... yes we're all told by our teacher's there other opportunities but at the same time they pressure us as if getting the ultimate UAI is the only way to go... we may hate them, we may love them, but we have to put up with them till we finish high school and sometimes they do want what's best for us.. i mean why else would u want to be a teacher if you're not there to motivate and encourage students lol... it's not like it's fun putting up with us XD
Many of us are starting to crack under the pressure, maybe because we came into this year with unrealistic expectations, maybe we weren't prepared or maybe it's because we feel like we have to feel like that.
The most important people that can help us right now are our
Friends
Teachers
Parents
Our friends are possibly goin through the same things as us and we may feel like we don't want to load our problems onto them, they're possibly feeling the same way too. Sometimes it just helps to get things out there and have someone listen..
When our thoughts become words it places things into perspective, it makes you aware that what you're feeling is real and once you realise that you can try and work through it. Helping a friend also helps you because it's a boost of self esteem as you feel as you've become useful. We all go through the HSC together, but why try to deal with our problems as individuals?...
we should work through our problems together because great minds think alike and two heads are better than one.
It's extremely important that we feel motivated throughout this year, because this keeps us from toppling over.
Some of us feel being organised is important... and it is.. but if you rely on being organised all the time then if you ever have a moment of feeling disorganised it can bring you crashing down....
I know i'm not the best example of anythign i've mentioned lol... i'm horribly disorganised when i can't be bothered. whihc is most of the time, i do all my assessment on the boarderline to hand in hour lol and i haven't done most of my homework lol....
but i do feel motivated to continue through school this year lol.. i know it's surprising after what i just said....
I don't really have a set long term goal except to finish high school, but i keep myself motivated through the little things...
i look forward to those swimming carnivals, the excursions and the holidays and that keeps me motivated to keep truckin along and doing what i have to do.
Sometimes is helps to make a small thing such as the swimming carnival into a huge must go event because it does motivate to finish all the things that you have to do so you can plan the day out..
e.g. like how i'm goin to scare everyone this year XD
but we should motivate each other, even if it's something lame like, complimenting someone's clip that they're worn for the last two weeks, it may even bring a smile to their lips on how lost you are lol...
but a smile, a playful poke and a hug can make a difference
we all have days where we feel like we can't go on and thankfully most of the time we don't all feel like that at the same time, and it's fine to mellow out but if you can't find the motivation to do this for yourself then do it for you friends and family and maybe you'll get that motivation back.
it's the little things that count, it's the little things that we take for granted and it's the little things that make the most difference
LOL i have no idea if any of that made sense.. i was just letting my fingers go crazy and i'm to tired to check for weird incomplete sentences... lol i should get more sleep.. heheheh two hours isn't enough
Night night everyone... i hope up all sleep tight and have sweet dreams
Stay motivated whoot!! lol |
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