Know

 

I know you thought I was experienced,

But I wasn’t really.

I know you though I was innocent,

And I was to a point.

I know you thought we could’ve spent our lives together,

But who’s to say we can’t.

 

I’m sorry I never let you know,

How happy you made me feel.

How every moment with you,

Filled my heart with joy.

With or without company,

You were always on my mind.

 

In truth the only experience,

I had, was physical in nature.

And thus this was the only way,

I knew how to show my love for you.

 

Emotional-wise, you were the first to show me,

What love really was.

Unafraid of scrutiny,

You passionately showed me your affection.

I wish I was as brave as you,

Then I might not have lost you.

 

I wanted you back so badly,

But fear held me back.

Fear of hurting you further,

Fear of hurting myself.

 

When you said, “deep down,

We knew it wouldn’t have worked…”

I agreed and said not a peep.

But in my heart and mind,

I believe we could have tried.

We may or may not have been successful,

But now we’ll never know.

 

I sit now, alone in the park,

Where we once shared so many passionate and loving embraces.

With only a pen and paper to console me of my loss,

And share with me my heartbreak.

I don’t know where life will lead me,

But I hope I’ll still be able to share it with you.

As a friend, ally or acquaintance,

I don’t want to wish for too much.

 

If asked, if I would go through it again,

Knowing full well the pain it would bring.

I wouldn’t hesitate to agree.

Because for a brief moment in time,

You made me the happiest girl,

And I hope you know that now.

 

Helen •Ø_ו

02/07/09

 

I finally put up this poem of mine... and I feel incomplete without posting it up like the others.

But this is when I let go, when I finally told myself to stop hoping, not that I did straight away,

but I had reached the point where I knew it would go no where and had finally begun to separate the fantasies from the reality.

Not dwelling on the bad, remembering the good and moving the heck foward!

Lol how funny that I went through these stages in a matter of weeks, not necessarily because I wanted to, but because I had to.

I've always disliked dwelling on the past too much, remembering is different, but dwelling brings you down to a place where it's hard to get back up on your feet.

And I don't like being brought down by a lot, I refuse to.

Anything that brings me down more than a month is something I definitely need to remove.

But hey, that's just me, right now I'm feeling well and strong =], with a bit of crazy thrown in.

Can't wait for the cruise, and if we can't make it to the cruise, I can't wait for the night out ^^.